Jane Andrews, Fergie's (ie, the duchess of York) former dresser is now back in jail.

Where, of course, Jane Andrews belongs. For she's been convicted of murder and sentenced to life in prison. Not that life actually means life in hte UK, she'll get out after a minimum of 12 years….prbably.

Basically, her boyfriend, a rich businessman, declined to marry her so beat him to death with a cricket bat. Would have been more appropriate to use a polo mallet but none available at the time perhaps.

Any, the question is, why did Jane Andrews bunk off for a couple of days: she must have known she would get caught. I like the speculation here.

She's 42: if she doesn't get pregnant soon she never will. So over the wall, get shagged, back to prison to have the baby.

Weird and wild speculation, yes it is indeed.