Feargal laddie, do get with the programme, please:

Red tape introduced in the 2003 Licensing Act is stifling small-scale gigs and performances, a report commissioned by ministers has found.

A West Country brass band has been told that it could only play religious songs when performing for charity in a town centre – or pay for a licence that could cost more than the band would be able to raise.

A male voice choir cancelled its outdoor performances after being told by the local council to sing religious songs or pay for a “temporary event notice”.

A group of elderly men who regularly sang folk songs in a room above a pub were told that the landlady would need a variation to her premises licence if they were to continue.

The report from the Live Music Forum says that some “perfectly reasonable, harmless” events have been negatively affected by a lack of clarity in the Act.

Feargal Sharkey, the chairman of the forum, said: “Everybody just needs to stop for a second and think – are we trying to build a society where a bunch of elderly gentlemen can’t sit in a room above a pub singing songs to each other without someone telling them they shouldn’t?”

Yes, of course that’s the society we’re trying to build. Just where would we be if everyone just took it into their heads to do as they wished? Of course you need to have a licence to sing a song in public. Just as you will soon need one to exist when the ID cards come in.

Haven’t you been paying attention this past decade?