There’s a comment about Hazel Blears in The Times today, really not quite sure what is meant by it:

I come to you straight from Hazel Blears’s launch for Labour’s deputy
leadership and my ears are ringing. I don’t think it’s tinnitus. Indeed, I
know it’s not. Instead it is a new condition called Hazelitis…

Ears are ringing? Hazelitis?

It is like battery farming with sentences.

Batteries?

at five times the
normal rate

Five times?

Hazel Blears is small, red

Small? Red?

but the only really
interesting thing about her is that she rides a motorcycle.

Rides?

Hazel’s … so quickly that
it was getting hard to breathe.

Oh, my, that quickly?

Hazel is pathologically upbeat.

Upbeat?

Indeed, she is like one of those battery-operated rabbits who just never
stops.

Battery operated rabbits?

We shuffled out, ears almost bleeding,

Ears bleeding? Some heavy experience there.

"There are no no-go areas for Hazel
Blears!”

No no go areas?

Let me get this straight. The Times is suggesting that Hazel Blears is small, red, battery operated, something like a rabbit that makes people bleed from the ears, with no no go areas, rides at five times the normal rate, causes shortness of breath and ringing in the ears?

No, no, surely not. (NSFW)