Rod Liddle:

This is the nub of the issue: what on earth is there to learn about
journalism at postgraduate level? The point and purpose of our lowly,
occasionally useful, trade could be scribbled on the back of a postage
stamp and would easily be comprehended by a 14-year-old hoodie with
ADHD (attention deficit hyperactivity disorder) and a carrier bag full
of glue. Who has decided that it must be dignified with a doctoral
thesis?

Trade might be overdoing it a bit, craft is closer to the truth.

It is a common mistake that people in certain occupations have to be
“clever”. There was a shock horror story in the papers last week to the
effect that almost all people who work in kindergartens and nurseries
are utter imbeciles; ill-informed, illiterate, oxtail soup between the
ears, etc. Should we really let these morons look after our lovely
children, these terrible Vicky Pollard manqués?

Well, yes, we should. No matter how loveable, cute, cheeky and
unintentionally funny pre-school children might be, they are also
extraordinarily stupid. The most intellectually demanding task required
of kindergarten workers is that they should be able to outwit a
four-year-old and thus stop him doing stuff. Other than that, they need
to be kindly of nature, patient and competent at handing out the
plastic building bricks and making sure the kids don’t try to take a
quick dip in the local pond. They are not required to summarise to
their charges Wittgenstein’s Tractatus or explain what it was that
Heisenberg was so uncertain about. Handing out a brightly coloured book
about a mischievous mole while smiling benignly will suffice.

Quite. The clincher being that Polly insists that child care shouldbe done by highly trained and highly qualified pedagogues. Ergo, we know that’s wrong, must indeed be a job for the thickoes.