Something of a pity for poor Isambard Wilkinson and his Medevac out of Helmland. Got a vicious case of the runs he did.

I was "cas-evaced" – or urgently evacuated – from Camp Bastion, the British desert base in Helmand in southern Afghanistan.

The
last Daily Telegraph correspondent to be removed from the field in such
a way was airlifted out of the Balkans after being peppered by a
Claymore mine. I had a bad dose of the runs.

Not
that I went without fuss. Delirious with heatstroke and
gastroenteritis, I invoked the spirit of Captain Souter, after whom a
coalition HQ in Kabul is named and who was one of six soldiers taken
prisoner after the 1842 massacre at Gandamak.

He
wrapped his regimental colours around his waist as he was assailed by
tribesmen wielding long-barrelled jezails. I gripped my laptop as I
sank, shaking feverishly, on to a camp bed.

I’m a little out of touch with younger brother at the moment so I’m not quite certain whether he’s actually taken up his new job. Umm, (cough) in charge of the catering for the troops in Helmland.