Tim Worstall

Message to Suicide Bombers.

Just a small thought, a tip if you wish. As you go through your training at the suicide bombing school, fit yourself with that expanding waistcoat, pack your rucksack for the last trip, think on what it is that you will be getting. Those 72 virgins (I’ll assume that the translation is correct and it isn’t raisins you’re after).

I’d just like you to reconsider, think for a moment. Lovely woman though she is are you absolutely certain, totally convinced, that you wish to spend eternity with 72 of these:

Widdy

(Note for those who may not be quite au fait with the details of British politics.  Anne Widdicombe  is a Conservative MP, former Minister and the country’s most famous virgin.)

In

13 responses

  1. Mike Cunningham Avatar
    Mike Cunningham

    Has the delectable Ann actually volunteered for the process, or are you utilising a rather snide photo for debate purposes only?
    From my own rather limited knowledge of the lady in question, the would-be martyrs would get rather short shrift from Miss Widdecombe!

    Reply
  2. bryan Avatar
    bryan

    Mike, methinks you missed the point. This particular photo was obviously chosen because it exudes the sheer charm and s*xiness of the virgin in question.

    Reply
  3. Chris harper Avatar
    Chris harper

    Virgin? That looks more like a rasin to me.
    Fits my prefered translation fine.

    Reply
  4. The LLama Butchers Avatar
    The LLama Butchers

    ANOTHER REASON NOT TO INVITE TIM WORSTALL TO YOUR JIHADI PARTY

    Man, talk about your downers….

    Reply
  5. Ed Derbyshire Avatar
    Ed Derbyshire

    Comming from a different angle – when a suicide bomber commits suicide his body is left on earth – it is his spirit that goes to paradise. In this paradise the virgins must also be spirits. Without bodies the delights offered may be very different from those conjured up in their imagination.
    Are these young men being hoodwinked into believing there will be unlimited sex when they reach paradise

    Reply
  6. ronnie Avatar
    ronnie

    But virgin is a temporary state is it not? Can you have a used virgin? If one is used do you get a replacement, or are you down to 71. Eternity can last awhile you know. Who is in charge of virgin supply and demand in Allahland. With all the current business is there a shortage. Will you have to wait for yours, or take 51 and get an IOU for 21. Will there be any left for the next generation of martyrs.
    Beginning to sound like Social Security. Don’t know that I’d trust it.

    Reply
  7. Timothy Avatar
    Timothy

    As my buddies and I say: not with a stolen dick.

    Reply
  8. Alex Avatar
    Alex

    What a woman!

    Reply
  9. pdberger Avatar
    pdberger

    Ah now Time. That’s mean!

    Reply
  10. rjw Avatar
    rjw

    Tim, you’re spoiling us today 😉

    Reply
  11. Chris harper Avatar
    Chris harper

    Well, thinking about it, she does seem to fit both translations.
    Ed & Ronnie,
    The Koran or the Hadiths, one or the other and can’t remember which and don’t care enough to do the research, are quite explicit about the whole thing, pornographic really. The quality of the males orgasm is described (a man experiencing this intensity on earth would faint), his endurance is enhanced (all night, EVERY night) (haven’t done that since I was much younger) and the ladies virginities are always restored the next day. Doesn’t sound like a terribly spiritual place to me.
    The problem I have always had, isn’t virginity as much a state of mind as much as physical intactedness? (intactedness ???, so much for my english usage). Do they forget what happened the previous night? If so, does that mean the bloke has to spend every night teaching them anew? Is paradise really just an eternity of him trying to overcome their ignorant and fumbling ineptitude?
    Frankly, after the first quarter of eternity I would probably be ready to swap the whole thing for a decent rasin.
    Give me a troop of experienced wenches any day.

    Reply
  12. ronnie Avatar
    ronnie

    Agreed Chris… I think you’d get a bit worn down after only half an eternity.
    However, I’m really edified to know that virginity can be restored in heaven. Who’d have guessed.
    But… what if she gets uh.. with angel or something.

    Reply
  13. Rehman Mohar Avatar
    Rehman Mohar

    Dear All,
    The concept of Paradise is different as describe by muslim world or media.
    As for Cartoon goes, I think it’s not a good
    practice(way) to show(express) comedy which hurt so
    many people.
    One more thing Sucide(killing yourself) is prohibeted in Islam also killing of any other
    human being is also striclly forbidden.
    for furthur information about Jihad please visit
    http://alislam.org/terrorism.html

    Reply

Leave a Reply

Discover more from Tim Worstall

Subscribe now to keep reading and get access to the full archive.

Continue reading